“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
Three days before the launch of my Pretty Awesome brand in Singapore, I was hit with a tsunami of problems. Never in my life had it been more important for me to be in the zone and deal with it, make decisions that can either make or break me and what I have built so far and most importantly understand who I was and what I stood for.
Three days before my launch, my software developer bailed out on me.
I heard so many things.
“The software is ready but it could not be uploaded onto your hosting site.”
“We kept being logged out each time we try to upload something.”
“There were so many errors.”
Three days. Before 32 people are about to start on a life-changing health and body transformation program with me.
I was completely disorientated for a while and while this isn’t a surprise, I was thrown on a whirlwind of an emotional journey and on a crossroad of deciding whether I should just forgo this project and send the bad news over to the 32 people who are waiting for me, or get up, look up north and pick up the pieces myself.
What I did was completely revolutionary, and 72 hours later I have to say I couldn’t be more thankful with everything I had to go through. This is how I handled it. This is the story of a developer who failed to deliver what he promised to deliver, three days before the launch and it is my biggest hope that you, my Pretty Awesome readers can take something out of this experience I had over the last three days.
Understanding who you are and what you stand for is the foundation of everything great in your life because it acts as a steer to the right direction — your true north when everything seems to be in a daze and falling apart.
If you don’t understand who you are, you will find it extremely hard to get out of the destruction and crumble when a storm comes your way.
Let me give you a little background of what I’m doing.
Besides starting and maintaining this blog that you’re reading right now, I have a vision. My vision is to use all my knowledge, experience and expertise to help others be the best version of themselves. Away from the fluff. Away from the artificial ingredients. Just using what they have right now to help them discover WHO they are, and what they stand for in life. My vision is to help them love themselves and all the intangible items they have and from there can they only change their body and the health state that they’re currently in right now.
It all started with a vision which led to a couple of months of meticulous planning and relentless hardwork. I decided to launch an online health and body transformation program run by a complex series of database and software using my Pretty Awesome brand.
With that decision, I hired a database and software developer company to help me get my ideas into reality. We built a great solid working relationships. I made sure he understand what I want and most importantly my vision before he even started any work. He had a team of 12 people who worked through the night and initially promised to deliver what we spoke about in May.
May turned to June and he still hasn’t got 50% of the work done.
I already had doubts early in June and while I should’ve listened to my gut feelings, I still had hope for him because it’s a business transaction.
But the ultimatum came last Thursday, when I was there sitting in front of my computer, crying my eyes out because he still hasn’t shown me the final product that was massively overdue. I set up a phone call with him and was determined to cut him off from this project. We spoke, he still came up with a million excuses that drove me crazier, but I resisted.
I ended the call telling him this:
“I want everything you said that was ready by 9pm tonight. If you can’t bring that on the table then unfortunately I have to forgo this.”
After four months of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to take charge. The decision should’ve come a long time ago but I decided to leave all that behind because I had a troop of 32 amazing people waiting for me to help them with their fitness and health goals.
After three sleepless nights, help from friends who means the world to me and countless readings, the site is up and launched this morning Singapore time.
That hardship I went through not too long ago gave me a hope and I choose to believe that something good always turn out from every setback we face in life.
I could’ve quit and tell those people waiting for me that I can’t do this anymore but I came face to face with the curveball and decided to take 100% accountability over them.
Here’s the thing. You can forgive, let go and forget about toxic thoughts and emotions. But skipping the part where you take full accountability of your own life is almost as good as still living in the past, and that’s not pretty awesome.
Taking 100% ownership of the painful and hurtful experiences and your flaws is absolutely critical if you ever want to live your full potential. By taking 100% ownership, you stop placing the blame on others and instead deal with the problems face on, devoid of someone or something external.
“I look big because I was born with big bones.”
“I am unhappy with my job but I don’t think I can survive without it if I quit it.”
“I have low self-esteem because of a bad relationship with an ex.”
I myself am no stranger to this. I blamed everything else but myself four years ago when I was obese and deny the fact that I was like that because of my poor lifestyle choices. But, the most successful people I know had a bad childhood, come from abusive and horrific relationships and have failed a million times over and yet they did not let these things stop them.
They took full accountability of their own life.
Do you know why it’s so much easier for us to pass the blame instead of coming face to face with them?
Because it hurts. The truth hurts.
Giving up on my vision, my dreams and my project I’ve spoken about for the past five months is easier. Working through codings, developing a database and sacrificing sleep just to see this come to live is painful and not an experience I would want to repeat ever again.
Same goes with staying in a job you hate. Your job is probably one of those things in life you dislike the most not because the world is against you, but because you were willing to stay in that job despite knowing that you hate it to death.
And it’s so much easier to play the victim instead of fighting day after day for the life that you want.
As for me, I tend to feel bad all the time. In some ways it is good because it proves loyalty. It becomes a strength because I know that I can deliver what I say I would.
But on the other side, it becomes a complete weakness because my loyalty won’t let me cut off any business or personal relationships despite knowing that it is not going anywhere. My loyalty caused me to give away too many chances instead of making the quick and swift decision of cutting my software developer off when he failed to deliver the first time round in May.
And truthfully, the fault is not on my developer. The fault lies in me for not making a move when I saw the warning signs. And for that I have to face the difficulty.
YOUR FUTURE IS YOURS TO DECIDE
What you choose to do and what you choose not to do is ultimately the only thing that will decide whether you will succeed or not.
I know, it’s much easier to forget about the bad things and focus on the good stuffs but sometimes it is imperative to face the bad stuffs in order to see the even better stuffs.
It is only when you are in control of your life can you start seeing tremendous opportunity that lies in front of you. Life will throw you a curveball. The odds may be against you and you may think like you don’t have the right people, resources, knowledge and experience to deal with all these hardship but remember this:
The only thing that matter is what you choose to do next.
Another reason why I didn’t cut my software developer off the first time round was because of this very reason: I didn’t know any coding. I don’t know PHP or even databases. But I took it one step at a time — cut him off and then decide what to do next.
It may seem unbelievable but as soon as I took that scary step of cutting the project of him, ideas start to flow. I started evaluating the resources I have now, the people I know I care for and whom cares for me enough to help and because of that, I still managed to build something, although not a hundred percent perfect, my vision is slowly but finally coming through.
My greatest hope for you during this journey of life no matter what you’re working for is that you have the strength every day or even, working on the strength every day, to take control of your life. The real question in life is not whether or not you can handle what you are facing, but instead what you will choose to do with it.
I chose to deal with my problem even though I have zero resources. You can too.
And I know you will.
X.
Aqilah.
Question of the day: What is the one thing in life that always causes you to have the victim mentality? Your work? The fact that you want to get healthier but you don’t know if you can? Tell me by leaving a comment below or you can even email me personally at aqilah@prettyawesomefitness.com. I will reply.
